Sunday, June 04, 2006

The Foiled Peace Tower Bombing Conspiracy

I suppose I pretty much have to comment on the attempt to blow up the Peace Tower.

First of all, congrats to the Canadian Fertilizer Institute for some quick thinking. You are patriotic mulchers, mesdames et messieurs, and I salute you.

So far, so good, for our beleaguered spy agency. We can't count on anything, until we have some convictions, and appeals are exhausted, but the spooks appear to have moved at the right moment. Naturally, they made the point that most Canadian Muslims are opposed to these lunatics. Since catching said lunatics tends to require the co-operation of the law-abiding Muslim majority, I can only applaud.

I think Daniel Larison makes the sensible point that hysteria is a particularly inappropriate response when the system works. Not that it will keep the usual suspects from overreacting. The masochistic wing of the Canadian right will doubtless be particularly noisy. The Pithlord advises the use of those foam earplugs. Some excellent brands are available here.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Toronto Police Chief Bill Blair: Welcome. Today we arrested seventeen Ontario men who were plotting the mass murder of their fellow citizens. Here's their bombs, tools and documents. We wish to note that their Canadianness is of course just a legal fiction. In fact they are simple-minded zealots, who have no nation, no real religion, and now, no future. It was and it will be a pleasure, to lock these animals away. They will be afforded due process and so forth, because our law is our freedom, but we agents of the Crown and the Canadian people wanted to make our disgust for these pious would-be butchers perfectly clear. I'm joined today by some kind of priest from that pointy building in Scarborough. Imam?

Imam Scotty Mohammed: Yes, I am hoping there will not be a backlash against the Islamic people in Canada, who believe in a religion of peace --

External Affairs Minister Peter Mackay: Religion of peace, how?

Imam: Excuse me, not all Moslems are terrorists. We don't all want to be tarred with the same brush. George Bush's anti-Moslem crusade --

Journalist in the audience: Old Bushie!

Other voice: Old Bushie! The bomber!

Imam: We condemn terrorism. You can hear me condemning it --

Peter Mackay: Bit louder, please.

Voice in the crowd: Racist stereotypes! Why --

Police chief: I'm a bit drunk, OK. OK. It was a long investigation.

Voice: Why do Canadians hold to this image of Moslems as bombers, and, and exotics? Are we just the Others who you hate because you can't understand?

Peter Mackay: I dunno. Good question. Maybe. Probably not. I didn't hear about Moslems till a few years ago. Ah...

Voice in the crowd: They're the ones without the turbans, Mackay, you twat.

Other voice: A little respect! A little respect! A little awareness!

Imam: This bombing plot had nothing to do with religion.

Police chief: No, no. Oh, no.

Voice: If young Moslem men weren't pushed to the margins, no work, no education...

Imam: Yes. The root cause is the poverty and lack of opportunities -- it's the systemic barriers to participation --

Police chief: Is that Professor Rahim? The trig guy from Waterloo? Oh my god, I arrested Professor Rahim. What a prick.

Imam: And George Bush's war of aggression --

Mackay: Wait. Is this the one where you pray nine times a day, or the one where you love cows?

Journalist: You'll never know, you dink. I'll never tell --

Police chief: Quit your bogarting, old man. OK, how is it peaceful? How is it not religious? Um...

Voice: It's also ethnic. They're the ones who jerk chicken. Toward Mecca.

Imam: This could be something faked up, you know. To make the Moslems look bad. The Zionist lobby --

Police chief: It is religious. It was a bomb. No respect, all respect I mean, it was sick-making, man. We wish to state, we've put down the dogs.